As for the sex scene, I felt it was very well done. My problem with many authors who get this graphic is that they begin to use sex as a distraction from a thin plot or mediocre story or that the erotic factor takes over the story. As neither occurs here I have to say it was a good decision to include this and I must say it helped me get over my discomfort with the concept of a male experiencing sex as a woman.

Next month is going to suck! I guess Pieces will help me make it through.

As for the “Does it advance the story” angle, I see the scene as something that happens in the midst of Danny/Danni’s pursuit of Teep Acceptance. It’s also the final step in his/her full acceptance of the Curse… Although this is still only the temporary version. Just wait until it’s gone: I predict that he’s going to miss his she-form terribly, whereas he would not feel the loss as much had he not felt the intensity of the pleasure his female side can experience.

Keep up the great job, Chris. And don’t let the critics get you down!

I thought I might have been mistaken who got the nanbots, but one disadvantage of the audiobook is not being able to rifle through the pages to find that one detail you are fuzzy on.

Thanks for taking critisizm as well as you seem to. And again, I’m enjoying the world you have created, and hope that the stories from it continue.

JT

Long after listening to the episode, I finally wondered about the psychic connection between Danni and Jared – either I missed it, or it wasn’t discussed. The psychic angle is a big deal and I was surprised I didn’t think of it while the episode played. (Aha! It would explain the ending, which at the time I thought was astonishing.) Anyway, I’m sure there’s more to come on that topic.

The specific acts were well described, only two young people so long deprived of intimacy would surely have reached climax long before it happens in the story. (Maybe people are different that way in the Metamor universe.)

As for the shorter stories, I like them too. I think what makes them so appealing is that, through them, we visited many parts of Metamor City fairly quickly. It’s an old and interesting place. I hope you have a lot left to tell us about Metamor City.

And thanks for doing it. I enjoy hearing your stories.

Total awesome!!!

Lay’s potato sexcellent!!!!

I am so in love with this podcast. Mr. Lester please take this in the spirit in which it is given: YOU HAVE A HUGE TALENT!!!!

I stand by the sex scene for three reasons: it’s an experience that changes Danni dramatically as a character; it shows us something distinctive about the world, and how sex works for both androgynes and telepaths; and, most importantly, the last paragraph of the chapter sets up a major plot point for Chapters 15 and following.

Anyhow, thanks for sticking with me. I’m more than willing to admit that this novel is a learning experience for me, and I’m sure that a good editor will help me to tighten it up. I appreciate all the feedback that will help me to make this a better story in the long run!

The Novel is another “story”. Even though the main story line is focused on one character, it feels like 2 or 3 stories Smashed together. Yes, I see all the storylines fit into the big picture, but they seem totally disjointed form one another.

The story started strong, but with the introduction of Daniel changing sexes to get back into the hive, it quickly goes south. Perhaps “Danni” needed to deal with the fact he betrayed his people (got a few killed if I remember correctly) before he decides to become a woman to get back into the collective.

And is he/she so involved with her personal life that he/she is not even thinking about the nanobots the vamps gave him/her?

As for the graphic sex, is that really necessary to the plot? Yes, I can see how her new experiences can work into the “Big” picture, but the inclusion of 10 min of graphic sexual descriptions kind of lowers this into the realm of Slash Fan Fic. Especially when you add in the gender switching aspect of the story. (Note: Heillein did it well in a few of his books. Was it “See no Evil” with the brain transplant?)

Anyway, I’ve noticed some people can really do a great job writing a short story, and fall short in the novel department. Maybe you need the constraints of a short story to allow you to focus, and present only what is necessary to make a compelling and satisfying story.

I’m not a writer, but I know a strong story when I read/hear it. I’m not saying you don’t have skills and I love the world you have created, but this book needs a good editor to bring it back on track. I know there are people who are basically editing via Podcast, so i thought i’d chime in. I’m staying subscribed, to see how it finishes up.

Thanks for reading

JT

I think that you writing is very good and the story is developping like a good and slow intimate session with a partner, slowly and surely.

While some folks may appreciate a quick one, I can appreciate the slow deliberate foreplay and I can feel that the end will be well worth it.

If I could only write as well as you can, my book would be so much better.

Keep it up!

Daniel and Danni’s story embodies those questions. To be sure, other elements of it are explored in the story arcs of Brian and his cell — but if you took out the Daniel/Danni storyline, you’d be removing the heart of the piece. And rest assured, the various plot threads WILL tie together in the end.

I very much liked the Metamor stories at the beginning of the podcast: short, self-contained, and all the “urban fantasy” I could want.

I’m not so happy with the story you’ve been delivering chapter after chapter since then. There are many strands (Daniel & Rebecca, Daniel & Danni, Victor, telepaths vs vampires, etc…), and to me, they don’t hold too well together.

I miss a sense of advancing the story. I recall a DVD commentary by Joss Whedon where his main concerns with the elements introduced were a) does it make sense, and more importantly b) does it advance the story?

Here for example, I understand the explanation for the Danni storyline, but my feeling is that you could remove it entirely. If there is a point to it, you are spending too much time with it.

Cheers.